The title is from the book The Four Agreement written by Don Miguel Ruiz. I honestly don’t know about this author and this is the first time that I had a copy of his writings, particularly this book.
Where and how did I get this book?
It was not sold in a bookstore but in surplus household items from Japan. We have this Japan surplus store a few kilometers away from my location. You know I am a techy guy so I always drop by this store during my free time to look for some valuable electronic gadget at a cheap price. You will not believe it but I have purchased two 500G working HDDs from that store for only three dollars.
I don’t know when I saw this book from that store because it’s almost a year ago. It appears new and seems to have not been read. I picked it up upon reading the title with a small text written “Wisdom Book”. The owner sold it for 20PHP (0.36USD), pretty cheap for valuable information. So I didn’t hesitate to include some electronic stuff I purchased when I went home.
Before I started reading the book I searched for the first information about the author. According to Wikipedia, Don Miguel Ruiz is a Mexican writer known for his works about spiritually and ancient teachings. You can visit his website at miguelruiz.com.
The book is only 138 pages and 5X7 inches. A little bigger than a pocket book.
The four agreements are:
1. Be Impeccable with Your Word
2. Don’t Take Anything Personally
3. Don’t Make Assumption
4. Always Do Your Best
I choose to write about the second agreement because this is what most of us are kind of hard dealing with. Whether you agree with me or not, we tend to be offended when we receive criticism for our work.
Don’t take anything personally, period! Pretty much hard but more likely easy. Ruiz points out in his book that whether people would tell us that we are the worst or we are the best we should not take it personally.
One day when I was waiting for my wife outside the market a former female colleague passed by. I have not seen her for several months since she was separated from the company. I was surprised when I saw her that day and then I said, “Hey, You look fat”. She frowned although she was happy to see me too.
By seeing the reaction on her face, I can feel that she took it personally. She agrees to my remarks because she believes that she is now fat.
When I was younger I was so sensitive to negative feedback. I tend to be mad when someone will tell me things that are unpleasant to my ear. Then I will confront the person, I will raise my voice like I was intimidating. Nevertheless I wanted to control my emotion when I received negative remarks because it may lead to somewhere else.
When we take things personally we will feel offended and our reaction is to depend on our beliefs and create conflicts. It’s like a poison. When a person says that you are ugly or our work is crap, don’t take it personally because it will become ours. We eat all their emotional garbage and it becomes our garbage.
Before I found this book I had already tried to not take things personally and it was effective. It no longer bothers me when I receive negative or positive feedback. If someone acknowledges you for your good deeds you can say thank you but never take it personally.
I was enlightened more after finishing reading the Four Agreements. It is easier to live if you don’t care what other people say or think about you. You are not responsible for the actions of others, you are only responsible for your actions.
If you want to read books about wisdom you can try The Four Agreements. I highly suggest it even if I only got to know its author only recently.
