When was the last time you felt pain?
When I was a kid I used to experience physical pain. The reasons for those pains were no other than my own actions. But what type of pains did I used to suffer?
As a kid, I grew up mostly beaten by my mother with a bamboo stick or a firewood. Those were the times when kids can play outdoor games during weekends, spending their time with fellow kids free of radiation from electronic devices.
I remember when I was in sixth grade, my classmates and I went out on Sunday biking somewhere. Unfortunately we had an accident and I was the one who got a lot of injuries. I had bruises in my arms and my torso. A small stone pierced my left arm and had an open wound showing the flesh. My classmates wanted to bring me to the nearest hospital but I resisted and decided to bring me home instead. When we got home mother was shocked and instantly raised her adrenaline instead of feeling pity. Without a word she beat me because she wasn’t aware that I would be going out that day. In short, I did not ask permission. That was the reason why she had beaten me despite the fact that I was already in pain due to injuries from the accident. My classmate was watching while my mother was hitting me with a stick.
You might wonder what kind of a mother I have. How could she beat her son while suffering from physical injuries? Actually she was not beating me hard because I can feel that it was not. That was not how she would beat me. It’s worse than that. She was just trying to show to my friends that she was not tolerating my foolishness. But then she was the one who took care of me. She brought me to a “Para-hilot” in our local dialect, meaning like a reflexologist who’s experienced in fixing dislocated bones in human body. Then I wasn’t able to go to school for a week.
As I grew older I became more foolish or I should say reckless or daredevil which makes it more appropriate to describe myself. Physical injuries were still associated with road accidents which include drunken motorcycles I mean drunk driver (laughs). Yes I never learned my lesson. But mother could no longer beat me, I am old enough to be beaten by a bamboo or wooden stick. Mother had stopped beating me during my adolescence. Perhaps she realized that when the pain is gone I will still make foolish things again. So she just reprimands me instead even if it sounds like a broken record. Words are more sharper than a knife.
Those physical pains that I endured in my early life somehow have made me a better person today if not best. You know time will just come when you will get fed up with those things you do that makes your parents worry. Then finally realizing that you will need to live life on your own. Time is moving forward not backwards. Our parents will not always be there to remind us.
My childhood life may be far different than yours. You may have grown without being punished with your wrong doings. You may have parents that don’t know how to beat a child for a mistake. You may not even feel pain while growing up. That is because we exist in different times. Those people who were born 30 or 40 years ago can relate to this or even some people who might be deprived of privileges are experiencing the same.
But it doesn’t matter. People live their lives according to what they believe and mostly in accordance with tradition, authority or dogma as the basis of morality.
I think the reason my parent would inflict pain on us by means of punishment was that she wanted us to feel the result of our action. And that those pains would register into our brains as a reminder for the consequences of misbehaving. They always wanted us to grow as a better person.
She may be right when she said that when the pain is gone, I will go back to our old habits. However she forgets that those pains I endured were kept in my memory and flashes back when I experience pain or see someone in pain in the present. So the pain still lingers on in our memory and reminds me that I should always do good.
Anyway this was just my parent’s way of parenting back then. Enduring pain. I understand now her own style of raising kids. The fact that we were living a hard life in the past gives my parents a lot of pressure. I couldn’t imagine how they have raised us five kids, sent all to school, no permanent address and one scratch one peck.
Life can be easy and it can be very hard sometimes. The pain you are experiencing right now might not be the real pain. There is worse pain than yours.